1. How does FB and LinkedIn know (about these people from my real life that I have no electronic connection with)?
I got two computer-generated friend suggestions recently that gave me much pause: Michael B on Facebook and Eric G on LinkedIn.

Michael B is (I am 90% certain) one of my housemates from my term abroad at Oxford (see below)


Eric G is the exceedingly personable friend of my former roommates in Queens, as detailed in this story. (sorry about the shitty formatting)

I have not spoken to either since I parted their company 2 and 4 years ago, respectively. I am friends with neither on any social networking site, nor am I friends with anyone who is friends with them. (I am FB friends with Jane, the girl who got cut out of that picture to the right, but she has over 1,100 friends, none of which are Michael B). I don't even use LinkedIn: I have a grand total of 5 connections, 4 of which were because they added me in the past week (and I only knew this because I got emails to my junk account telling me so).

So HOW does the computer know I knew these people? Can it read my thoughts? Can it see into my past? If so, I need to know so I can GTFO immediately. As a female writer with no programming skills and a less-than-movie-star-quality face/rack*, I will be first against the wall when the revolution comes. A greasy spot on the mainframe.

In all seriousness, I think I might have an answer for Eric**. My LinkedIn is connected to my spam email account - in which Eric is a contact, because he emailed me details about a party back in the day. LinkedIn also suggested a girl I corresponded with briefly on the same account because she was a prospective roommate for my Boston apartment. If so this is still pretty disconcerting, because it reveals that LinkedIn is accessing Gmail without my knowledge, and that anyone who so much as replies to my craigslist ad is a potential BFF. I once heard someone (Maybe Scott Adams) talk about how getting all our social media to talk to each other would be the great paradise of web 3.0 but I don't know if I buy that. Sure, having all the pertinent info in one place would be great (less clicking, more efficient), but I stubbornly insist upon retaining the ability to decide What Is Important For Me To Know.


Character Sketches, in interest of representing them as real people:
Michael B chawed tobaccy. We would all sit around in the living room reading (me 20th C british novels or theory texts, Chris medievel texts in the original Olde Englishe, and Mike critical texts on Dylan poems). And he would spit foul brown asswater into a clear diet coke bottle. To be fair he was also a semi-professional chef who made me bacon on my birthday despite the fact that bacon didn't really exist in Britain as far as we knew.

Eric G was the reason I ended up getting that room in Queens. He ran beautiful interference for my fat slob roommate's complete lack of charm when I went to visit the place. He is without a doubt among the 10 most interesting and manic people I've ever met (think Chaz, think Scotty Iseri. Not that I've met Scotty Iseri but you know). It was at a party at his house that I first saw somebody snort coke.

2. Is it better to keep lists of expensive things you want or not?
My friend Sterling has a government job which is paying him entirely too much money. He had an unusual and disturbing (for him) problem this weekend when he desired to spend some of said money, but could not think of or find anything that he wanted to spend it on. Now this is a pretty classic consumerist paradox, but because I do not have a government job, I do not have money and am therefore anything but anxious about not spending it. So instead, for me the question became:

Should I keep lists of expensive things I want, with the idea of buying them or getting gifted them in the future?

Should I keep a reminder around that I really really want a Fossil brand watch? Or a "We do things My Way or the Hemmingway" T-shirt? (I don't think I need a reminder about how much I want an iPhone/iTouch; they're everywhere)

My list-keeping instinct says yes, that if you keep such a list then you will know what you want when gift-giving holidays roll around, and it will be more efficient and satisfying for everyone involved. (How many times have you strained to think of something when people ask "What do you want for [Christmas][your birthday]?")

On the other hand, my artist's skepticism says no, because if it were really that important, I would remember, wouldn't I? Why perpetuate such blatant consumerist desires? If I forget I gave a shit about a Fossil watch then I'll be happier and richer for it, right?



*I'm sorry for mentioning my boobs twice in two posts. I don't usually think about them this much but they seem socioculturally significant lately

**This explanation does not apply for Mike though, since he never once emailed me! I mean for god's sake we lived in the same flat for 4 months in 2005. There was no need for that sort of thing.