The Simple Sabotage Field Manual

Boston has been delightfully apocalyptic lately. I'm never sure if any given train I'm on will actually reach my destination, break down, or catch on fire. We had no potable water for an entire weekend. And now, Quebeci forest fire ash descending upon the air. I'm disappointed in the lack of riots, but it's only a matter of time now.

Meanwhile, my roommate told me about this little gem


You can download the whole pdf at
http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2010/06/world_war_ii_sa.html
and I definitely recommend you do, because it’s an interesting read. And surprisingly relevant to Your Life Today, despite the fact that it was written over 50 years ago.

The Simple Sabotage Field Manual (1944) begins with some bureaucratic boilerplate, which is pretty funny if you think about it in a “WWII movie hero crouches in a Vichy barn frantically reading his field manual looking for advice” kind of way

2. POSSIBLE EFFECTS
a. Acts of simple sabotage are occurring throughout Europe. An effort should be made to add to their efficiency, lessen their detectability, and increase their number.

Poor WWII movie hero. Just as he was vowing to increase the efficiency, detectability, and numerousness of his sabotage, the cow let out a warning moo and alerted the entire Nazi countryside to his presence. He didn’t even get as far as

Simple sabotage may also have secondary results of more or less value

But that’s ok, I can summarize.

Sparknotes guide to sabotage: Put Dirt In It.

Seriously, whatever it is--power tools, pneumatic drills, cooling systems, locks, electrical equipment, factory floors, fuel tanks—chances are that a small to moderate amount of dirt will screw it up. Dead insects and wads of hair will do the job as well (as is evidenced by my shower drain).

Ideally, you’ll also want to Light Stuff On Fire (and the Guide devotes a good chunk of time to explaining how), but that’s nothing I’m sure most of you haven’t been doing since you were in elementary school.

Far more interesting than the industrial sabotage are the instructions for social sabotage. They’re so effective that they’ve been widely implemented across the US!

(1.) Make train travel as inconvenient as possible for enemy personnel. Make mistakes in issuing train tickets, leaving portions of the journey uncovered by the ticket book; issue two tickets for the same seat in the train, so that an interesting argument will result; near train time, instead of issuing printed tickets write them out slowly by hand, prolonging the process until the train is nearly ready to leave or has left the station. On station bulletin boards announcing train arrivals and departures, see that false and misleading information is given about trains bound for enemy destinations.
(2) In trains bound for enemy destinations, attendants should make life as uncomfortable as possible for passengers. See that the food is especially bad, take up tickets after midnight, call all station stops very loudly during the night, handle baggage as noisily as possible during the night, and so on.
(3) See that the luggage of enemy personnel is mislaid or unloaded at the wrong stations. Switch address labels on enemy baggage.
(4) Engineers should see that trains run slow or make unscheduled stops for plausible reasons.

How to sabotage the transportation industry: make airline travel as inconvenient as possible!

(2) When the enemy asks for directions, give him wrong information.
(3) Bus-driver[s] can go past the stop where the enemy wants to get off. Taxi drivers can waste the enemy's time and make extra money by driving the longest possible route to his destination.

There are also ways to mess with phone lines (as a switchboard operator, dropping calls, connecting incorrectly, or simply making “wrong number” calls once a day), propaganda movies (the best one involves a paper bag full of moths) and the postal service. Most of these innovations have been streamlined, and nationalized into the very institutions themselves. This past winter, I was the victim of a truly inspiring 3-month phone/computer/mail sabotage propagated by Adobe Tech Support.


This next part I’m not going to make any comments on: I just want you to read and make note of how many of these are de rigueur in your workplace.

(11) General Interference with Organisations and Production

(a) Organizations and Conferences
(1) Insist on doing everything through "channels." Never permit short-cuts to be taken in order to expedite decisions.
(2) Make "speeches." Talk as frequently as possible and at great length. Illustrate your "points" by long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences. Never hesitate to make a few appropriate "patriotic" comments.
(3) When possible, refer all matters to committees, for "further study and consideration." Attempt to make the committees as large as possible — never less than five.
(4) Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible.
(5) Haggle over precise wordings of communications, minutes, resolutions.
(6) Refer back to matters decided upon at the last meeting and attempt to re-open the question of the advisability of that decision.
(7) Advocate "caution." Be "reasonable" and urge your fellow-conferees to be "reasonable" and avoid haste which might result in embarrassments or difficulties later on.
(8) Be worried about the propriety of any decision — raise the question of whether such action as is contemplated lies within the jurisdiction of the group or whether it might conflict with the policy of some higher echelon.


(b) Managers and Supervisors
(1) Demand written orders.
(2) "Misunderstand" orders. Ask endless questions or engage in long correspondence about such orders. Quibble over them when you can.
[…]
(6) In making work assignments, always sign out the unimportant jobs first. See that the important jobs are assigned to inefficient workers of poor machines.
(7) Insist on perfect work in relatively unimportant products; send back for refinishing those which have the least flaw. Approve other defective parts whose flaws are not visible to the naked eye.
[…].
(9) When training new workers, give incomplete or misleading instructions.
(10) To lower morale and with it, production, be pleasant to inefficient workers; give them undeserved promotions. Discriminate against efficient workers; complain unjustly about their work.
(11) Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done.
(12) Multiply paper work in plausible ways. Start duplicate files.
(13) Multiply the procedures and clearances involved in issuing instructions, pay checks, and so on. See that three people have to approve everything where one would do.
(14) Apply all regulations to the last letter.

(c) Office Workers
[…]
(5) Tell important callers the boss is busy or talking on another telephone.
(6) Hold up mail until the next collection.
(7) Spread disturbing rumors that sound like inside dope.

And lastly, should any of you feel like perpetrating some social sabotage, here are a set of helpful hints. Just don’t ask me what it means to “Complain against ersatz materials.”

(12) General Devices for Lowering Morale and Creating Confusion
(a) Give lengthy and incomprehensible explanations when questioned.
(b) Report imaginary spies or danger to the Gestapo or police.
(c) Act stupid.
(d) Be as irritable and quarrelsome as possible without getting yourself into trouble.
(e) Misunderstand all sorts of regulations concerning such matters as rationing, transportation, traffic regulations.
(f) Complain against ersatz materials.
(g) In public treat axis nationals or quislings coldly.
(h) Stop all conversation when axis nationals or quislings enter a cafe.
(i) Cry and sob hysterically at every occasion, especially when confronted by government clerks.