Belts

I'm going to follow that heavy post about simulacra and politics with a post about belts.

I am very upset about belts. Specifically, the improper use of belts.

Here is what a belt should be used for: to keep your pants up. OR to make your pants look good and pretend to be holding them up. Like so




That latter one (from Michael Kors' spring 2011 collection) would just be yet another sheer titties-out* shirt and skirt, but the belt makes it awesome.

Here then is what a belt is NOT for: a bathing suit.


WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WEAR A BELT WITH A BATHING SUIT? Can't bathe in it. Can't sunbathe in it. You'd even look like a jackass at a swanky pool party, something which is very difficult to accomplish.


Come on, Michael Kors. Now you're not even trying.

I have gone on record for my hatred of waist belts, but this takes it to a whole new level. I can vaguely, begrudgingly ok a cinch belt for something that is actually designed to hold your clothes closed. That doesn't mean it doesn't look retarded.



To review. Belts = for holding your pants up, or adding decoration around the hips area. Belts =/= for cinching around your waist randomly, or for bathing.

PS. While we're here, putting a belt over a diaper just compounds one terrible idea with another.








*It has been disgustingly anti-feminist how many titties are on display at the latest fashion week. I'm not saying this to be a prude. More like, hey, way to not consider the woman at all, except as a hanger. Or a vehicle for scandalous nudity (except no one was actually scandalized). The point of clothes is that they, to some minor extent, cover you up, right? Not every designer is saying that they make wearable stuff, but a lot of these bitches are, especially Michael Kors. And why not have your model wear a bra? If that's how women are going to be wearing your clothes in real life. Or is it much more important to show itty bitty model titties to the world?